


Sacrifice - But Is It Really? Healing Writing

by SaphiraTARDIS11



Series: Sacrifice [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, M/M, Mercy Killing, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-10-26 20:31:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10794240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaphiraTARDIS11/pseuds/SaphiraTARDIS11
Summary: This is gonna be a bunch of scenes and/or flashbacks from when Stiles mom was sick and dying from one of my works, Sacrifice - But Is It Really?





	1. I'm Sorry For Your Loss

**Author's Note:**

> I am writing these and posting here because I'm on hiatus from Sacrifice due to the death of my grandfather. Because of the therapeutic nature of writing for me, these will be the only thing I write until I feel confident enough to return to other works without ruining them.

Every sorry made him shake with barely repressed rage, made him want to claw and scratch and strangle. Every attempt at comforting words, every apology or condolence made his ten year old blood boil in anger and rage. He had never known hatred like this, never known the want to hurt, to cause pain like what he was feeling. Stiles had always wanted to help to comfort. He's never wanted to hurt, never wanted to disobey his moms words. She was always a kind soul, never wanted to harm anyone, always helping.  

Stiles felt so guilty every time he felt this anger this hatred. He felt guilty because that's not what his mom wants.  

_Wanted_ , a small voice would always remind him. _Wanted_ , because she’s gone. And that just made him angrier and so fucking sad. Because, what did it matter what she wanted? She's gone, she's fucking gone and nothing is changing that. So what the fuck does it matter what she wanted when she’s not here to want it anymore, not here to be disappointed when he didn't listen?  

What the fuck does it matter that his blood boils and his body shakes with hatred and rage every time someone tells him an empty _sorry_ _for your loss_ or _sorry for your mom._ Every time someone gives him a half-hearted _at least she's not suffering_ , every time someone gives him a pitying look or empty advice.  

What gets him the most though is the advice. Advice from someone who still has both their parents and their grand parents, whose never lost a soul in their life. Who do they think they fucking are giving him advice when they couldn't possibly fucking know what he was going through? Who are they to try or console him on his grief when they don't know what the fuck grief feels like? Who are they to act like they know everything about the world when they've never experienced the helpless, soul crushing, empty feeling that is grief? That feeling that's so empty it feels like it's going to make you burst. That feeling that's sometimes so fucking much you can't feel anything at all. That's so overwhelming that your brain can't process it, can't let you feel it. How could anyone possibly know a fucking thing about the world if they've never experience that? How could anyone know anything without knowing grief?  

Because suddenly Stiles simultaneously knows so much about the world and so little. The world is suddenly so much more and so much less. The world is suddenly so much bigger and so much darker and so much more real and so much less real. He can't explain it, can't find a way to make anyone understand. And that's the whole point. If he can't make you understand that, how could you possibly know anything about anything if you don't know grief?


	2. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles thoughts during his mother's funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salvete. I'm sorry I was gone for so long, depression has really kicked me in the ass this time. Things are looking up though (new friend, Destiel shipper, I'll call her Ani here, really great, helping me get outta my funk), so here is a really, really small something. This was inspired, sadly, by my grandmothers funeral back in November. I was the only person crying the entire service (completely bawling my eyes out, couldn't keep the sobs in), and it hit me hard that I was the only person crying. I felt like Stiles would feel the same, especially with how Claudia died (it's hard to mourn the beautiful friend, when the last thing you saw was what Claudia was in the end), so I poured some of my feelings about it here. And now my notes are longer than the actual scene, so I'm gonna sign off here, and end with this. Enjoy!! <3

Stiles doesn't understand why no one is crying. People love his mom, they care about her, and now she's gone, burned to ashes, and no one is crying. They know she's gone, her ashes are at the front of the room, so why is no one upset? Why isn't anyone upset, why doesn't anyone miss her? Everyone loved her, she loved everyone, so why can't anyone cry for her? Why can't anyone muster up a few measly tears? Why doesn't anyone miss her, why doesn't anyone notice what he's done, why does what he's done go unnoticed, why doesn't anyone care? Why can he get away with what he's done, why hasn't his father arrested him already? Why was he able to kill his mother, and have no one make a sound?! 

 


End file.
